some words of advice for my daughters

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(FYI: this is my 100th post…happy blogging to me)

Lex and Annie

I’ve been thinking a lot about my girls lately. They most certainly are not babies anymore and are growing up much faster than I prefer. Adrianna is now the toothless wonder with a huge gaping hole where her front teeth used to be. Alexandra is caught up in her first crush – Harry Styles from One Direction. There are so many life lessons ahead, and before I forget in the midst of the crazy, busy chaos that is our life, I would like to share some things with them.

  1. There’s a more important way to be a beautiful person, and you won’t find it in the pages of Seventeen magazine. I think my kids are gorgeous because they’re mine. End of discussion. But what good is being pretty on the outside if you’re ugly on the inside? I find myself telling them time and time again that what will matter most when they’re older is whether or not they are kind and genuine people who cares for people and thinks of others before themselves. I know too many adults who think the sun and moon rise on their rear ends, and I think one of the most horrible things that my children could do is become one of those people. It makes me smile and extremely proud to be their mom when I see them make choices or show actions that reflect this.
  2. You need to learn to appreciate yourself for who you are. I had huge self-esteem issues when I was younger, and I still struggle with this. I would never want my daughters to feel like they weren’t good enough. I want them to feel that they are as wonderful and fabulous as I think they are.
  3. For the love of the children, wear sunscreen and don’t go tanning! Do I even need to explain this one?! Yes, I must. I spent a good part of my late teens/early- to mid 20s getting bronzed in the tanning bed and skipping the sunscreen, and it definitely shows. I have more wrinkles and crows’ feet than other girls my age and have had iffy moles removed (nothing cancerous, just suspicious). Was it worth it to not have legs that glowed in the dark due to paleness? NO. I made a New Year’s resolution in 2010 that I would never go tanning again, and I have kept that promise. Please, girls, just don’t do it! Your body will thank you later.
  4. As much as you love fairy tales, don’t get your hopes up that Prince Charming will swoop in on a white horse and make all of your dreams come true. Disney is a lying SOB. I am not saying a guy shouldn’t make you feel like a princess, but real love is so much more. Find someone who matches your values and makes you a better person. If he happens to be smokin’ hot, that’s a bonus, but remember, looks fade and personality stays. P.S. Be warned that I fully intent to tell you if I don’t like your boyfriend/fiance/husband. It will save you trouble in the end if I’m honest.
  5. Experience real life on your own. I never did this, and it’s something I regret. Don’t grow up to be like me in this respect. Live your life, make your own mistakes, and learn from them. I think it will make you a better, stronger person.
  6. Don’t rely on a man to do things for you. I get extremely frustrated when I hear a woman talking about not doing something because she can’t and needs a man to do it. Seriously, honey? I mow the grass, take out the trash, build furniture, fix things around the house, etc. It can be done.
  7. You can’t change people; you can only change yourself. No explanation needed for this one. You will save yourself lots of time, hurt, and frustration if you remember this.
  8. One of the best things you can wear is a smile. Smile big and often, because who doesn’t like a smile?! It not only makes you look good, it makes you feel good. Plus, you can show off those awesome dimples that I gave you.
  9. Hard work and responsibility are grossly underrated. It’s sad that we live in a society where people thing they are entitled to money, jobs, possessions,etc. Girls, I not only want you to work hard and be responsible; it is completely expected of you. Please don’t let me down.
  10. No matter what, I love you always and unconditionally. It’s like what my mom used to say to us, “I may not always like you or like what you do, but I always love you.” I will always be there to love, guide, and support you, because that’s the job I undertook when I became your mom.

What advice do you have for your children? 

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8 responses »

  1. #9 is not only values I instill in my 13 yr old daughter; but definitely include my almost 17 year old son, as well. Raising children doesn’t get any easier (a misconception when they get more independent). It’s a whole different challenge and requires heightened diligence on parents’ part during the challenging teen years. Thanks for this great post!

  2. Love this Steph! My daughter’s rounding the corner in to middle school and I feel like I’m not ready for it and all the drama that comes with it. I’ll have to keep your words of wisdom in mind!

  3. Steph…. that’s the best, most truthful bit of knowledge you could give your kids. I agree with every point you made and I hope they listen carefullly. There is only one thing that I disagree with and that is when you underestimate yourself..I’ve watched you grow from a little girl to a wonderful mom and I can already see you in your kids. . Being a single parent and head of household is not an easy job and I applaud how you are handling it. Love Aunt Patty

  4. Pingback: life lessons for my sons | steph plus 4

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